Two Good Gifts
Single believers hear the same question at every family gathering: “So, are you seeing anyone?” The people who ask usually mean well. But behind the question sits a quiet idea, that real life begins at the wedding and everything before it is a long wait. The Bible teaches something better. Paul, who was unmarried when he wrote to the Corinthians, told them that every believer, married or single, holds a gift from God.
“For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.”1 CORINTHIANS 7:7 · KJV
The word for gift is charisma, a gift of God's grace. Each person has his own, one after this manner, and another after that. Singleness is a gift. Marriage is a gift. God gives them as He sees fit, and neither one makes a believer more spiritual or more complete than the other.
We hold both sides of this. Marriage is God's good design from the beginning (God's Design for Marriage). He said, It is not good that the man should be alone (Genesis 2:18), and Proverbs says, Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing (Proverbs 18:22). Paul warned against teachers Forbidding to marry (1 Timothy 4:3). Yet the same Spirit moved Paul to write of the unmarried, It is good for them if they abide even as I (1 Corinthians 7:8). God's answer to loneliness is larger than marriage. He gave Adam a wife, and He gives every believer a church: God setteth the solitary in families (Psalm 68:6).
You may not know whom you will marry, or whether you will. You can know what God has put in your hands this week. Singleness is not a waiting room. It is an assignment.
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For Deeper Study
- 7 Myths about SinglenessAmazon Sam AllberryA single pastor's warm case that the single life is good and that the church should be a family to those who live it. From an evangelical Anglican background.
- Passion and PurityAmazon Elisabeth ElliotA missionary's classic on bringing love and longing under Christ's control. Not written from a Baptist position.
- Decision Making and the Will of GodAmazon Garry Friesen with J. Robin MaxsonA biblical approach to wise choices, with chapters on singleness and marriage.
- Sex, Dating, and RelationshipsAmazon Gerald Hiestand and Jay ThomasA call to treat dating with more caution than the culture does. Its approach is stricter than the one given here.
- Foxe's Book of MartyrsAmazon John FoxeThe classic Protestant record of those who died for the faith, from the early church to the English Reformation.
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God's Design for Marriage
Marriage is God's own design: a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, made before Him, that joins two people as one flesh and pictures Christ and His church.
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