With Them in Joy and in Sorrow
Jesus went to a wedding, and He stood at a tomb. At Cana He was called, and his disciples, to the marriage (John 2:2). At Bethany He saw Mary weeping, and Jesus wept (John 11:35). A pastor walks the same road. The man who stands beside a bride on Saturday may stand beside a casket on Monday.
“It is better to go to the house of mourning, than to go to the house of feasting: for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to his heart.”ECCLESIASTES 7:2 · KJV
Weddings and funerals are pastoral work, and they are Gospel work. Many people who never come on Sunday will sit and listen at these two services. A wedding raises the question of what love is. A funeral raises the question of what comes after death. Solomon said that in the house of mourning the living will lay it to his heart. In both places the pastor's task is the same: to serve the people in front of him and to point them to Christ.
He does not come as a hired speaker. Couples and families are not customers. He comes as a minister of Christ who answers to the Lord for what he says and what he blesses, and everything in this study follows from that.
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For Deeper Study
- Conduct Gospel-Centered FuneralsAmazon Brian Croft and Phil A. NewtonA short, practical guide for pastors, in Zondervan's Practical Shepherding series. Calvinistic Baptist.
- Preparing for Marriage God's WayAmazon Wayne A. MackA long-used premarital workbook built on Scripture. Reformed.
- Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of LamentAmazon Mark VroegopA pastor who lost a child teaches believers to grieve with the Psalms. Reformed.
- The Star Book for MinistersAmazon Edward T. HiscoxA classic Baptist minister's manual with forms for weddings and funerals. Some of its language is dated.
- Foxe's Book of MartyrsAmazon John FoxeThe classic Protestant record of those who died for the faith, from the early church to the English Reformation.
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God's Design for Marriage
Marriage is God's own design: a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, made before Him, that joins two people as one flesh and pictures Christ and His church.
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