When You Are Addicted

If You Cannot Stop

Maybe it is the bottle. Maybe it is pills, or meth, or weed. Maybe it is the screen at midnight, or the betting app, or something you have never said out loud. You have promised yourself you would quit, more times than you can count, and you meant it every time. Now you are tired, you are ashamed, and you may not have told anyone.

We are glad you are here. We are going to tell you the truth, because Jesus said, the truth shall make you free (John 8:32). Some of it will be hard to hear. This is sin. You have a real choice in it. And Christ can set you free. But here is what we want you to hear first. When people complained about Jesus, this was the complaint: This man receiveth sinners, and eateth with them (Luke 15:2). He has not changed. He knows what you did last night, and He is not done with you.

Grace Comes Before Recovery

Most of us have the order backward. We think, I will get clean, and then I will go to God. The Gospel runs the other way.

“But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”ROMANS 5:8 · KJV

Not after a year sober. Christ did not die for the cleaned-up version of you. He died for the real one, knowing all of it.

Jesus told of a young man who wasted his substance with riotous living (Luke 15:13) and ended up hungry among the pigs. Then he came to himself (Luke 15:17) and started for home. He had not cleaned up. He had not paid anything back. All he had was hunger and a direction. See what the father did (and see The Way Back).

“And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”LUKE 15:20 · KJV

If You Have Never Trusted Christ

This comes before any plan. Jesus said, Whosoever committeth sin is the servant of sin (John 8:34), and a slave cannot buy his own freedom. That is why Christ came. He died for our sins according to the scriptures, He was buried, and He rose again the third day (1 Corinthians 15:3–4). Salvation is a free gift, Not of works (Ephesians 2:9), and being sober is a work. You do not have to quit first. You do have to stop defending it. Change your mind about your sin and about Christ, and trust Him alone. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13). The change that follows is what He does with you after He receives you. It is not the price of getting in.

If You Are Already His

This has not canceled your salvation, which rests on Christ's finished work, not on how this week went. There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1). What you have lost is joy and closeness with your Father, and He wants to give those back. But grace is no room to stay. If you go on in it, expect your Father's correction, for whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth (Hebrews 12:6). And a life of sin with no grief over it is a reason to examine yourself (2 Corinthians 13:5). If you are not sure where you stand, see Knowing You Are Saved.

Bondage, and the One Who Breaks It

The Bible is not surprised by you. Long ago Proverbs described a drunken man who was beaten and felt nothing. His next thought is this: when shall I awake? I will seek it yet again (Proverbs 23:35).

Scripture is honest about why we go back. There really are the pleasures of sin for a season (Hebrews 11:25). It quiets the pain and the loneliness. But the season is short. Then comes the morning, and the regret, and the need to do it again so you will not feel the regret. It promised to serve you. Now you serve it.

Who Is Holding Whom?

“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”1 CORINTHIANS 6:12 · KJV

• Alcohol and drugs. Drunkenness is sin (Ephesians 5:18), and we are convinced that drinking is always unwise for a Christian (see Liberty, Convictions, and the World). If something has mastered you, the goal is not less of it. The goal is free of it, with a doctor's help.
• Marijuana. We believe that smoking marijuana to get high is not wise and is sin for a Christian, because Scripture says, Be sober, be vigilant (1 Peter 5:8). We are not speaking of medical questions here.
• Pornography. Its hold is real, and it keeps asking for more. See Purity and Intimacy.
• Gambling. Paul warns that they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare (1 Timothy 6:9).
• Screens, food, work, shopping. A phone is not a sin, and neither is a meal. But good things can become masters, and Paul's question still stands.

A New King

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.”ROMANS 6:12–14 · KJV

Paul is not saying a believer will never sin. He is saying who is king now. When you trusted Christ, sin lost its right to rule you. You do not have to obey it. You may not feel that tonight, and Paul does not ask you to. He says to reckon it true (Romans 6:11) and to yield your body to God (Romans 6:13), one choice at a time.

“I Can't Stop”

Maybe your honest word is, “I can't stop.” If you have trusted Christ, Romans 6 will not let that sentence stand. Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey (Romans 6:16). Yielding is something you do. The craving is real, and it can be fierce, in your body as well as your mind. But a craving is a temptation, and a temptation is not yet a sin (James 1:14–15). It can press you. It cannot make the choice. Nothing holds a child of God in this but his own yes.

We know how hard that sounds, and we are not saying it to crush you. We say it because it is the word with a door in it. If you had no choice, nothing could change. If you have been saying yes, then by God's grace you can say no, and you would not be saying it alone. You are not left with your own strength. You have the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead living in you (Romans 8:11).

Choosing is not the same as doing it alone, or doing it tonight. If you have tried and failed, that is a reason to get help, not a reason to give up. And if your body depends on alcohol or certain medicines, your first step is to see a doctor before you stop (see “Do Not Quit Alone” below).

If part of you does not want to stop, say that too. David prayed, Create in me a clean heart, O God (Psalm 51:10). Ask Him to change what you want. And if your word is the opposite, “I have this under control,” then ask who is holding whom. If you could stop and you will not, it already has you.

The Man Who Hated What He Did

Paul wrote, what I would, that do I not; but what I hate, that do I (Romans 7:15). We believe that is a believer who hates his sin (see Fighting Sin and Temptation). If that sounds like your diary, you are not a strange kind of Christian.

“O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.”ROMANS 7:24–25 · KJV

He does not ask what will deliver him. He asks who, and he answers with a Person. White-knuckling will not get you out. Freedom comes through Christ, by His Spirit living in you (Romans 8:13). And you still have a part.

“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”GALATIANS 5:1 · KJV

For some the craving lifts early. For others it goes on for years, and a craving you refuse is not a failure. But Jesus said, If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed (John 8:36). You do not have to belong to this for the rest of your life.

Is It Sin or Sickness?

You have probably heard two answers. Neither one tells the whole story.

One says it is only willpower. Just stop. Try harder. Your choices are real, and we have said so. But this answer leaves out what addiction does to the body, and it leaves out Christ. God made us body and soul, and each affects the other.

The other says it is only a disease. The American Society of Addiction Medicine calls addiction “a treatable, chronic medical disease involving complex interactions among brain circuits, genetics, the environment, and an individual's life experiences.” There is much truth here. Repeated use does change the brain, and some people are more prone to this than others. Many who speak this way want to lift shame and get people into care, and we thank God for them. But a diagnosis cannot tell you what your heart is reaching for, and it cannot forgive you. And it must not become a reason to say you have no choice. Paul counts drunkenness among the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19–21).

We believe addiction is sin, and that it is to be repented of. At the root it is a matter of worship. We were made to worship God. Something else has taken His place, and we run to it for what only He can give: comfort, rest, relief, worth. That is true whether or not you were born more prone to it.

We know that is a hard word. It is also the word with hope in it, because sin is what Jesus came for. He compared sinners to the sick, and Himself to a doctor: They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance (Mark 2:17).

So here is where we stand. Sin is the deepest word, and it is not the only word. What began in the heart can take hold of the body. That is why you may need a Saviour and a doctor at the same time, and needing one never cancels the other.

Turn from It

If it is sin, the way out begins with repentance. That may sound like a heavy word. It is one of the kindest in the Bible, because it means you do not have to stay where you are. To repent is to change your mind, and that change reaches your heart and turns your life (see Repentance and Faith). You stop calling this a coping skill or bad luck. You stop defending it. You agree with God about what it is, and you turn from it to Him.

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.”PROVERBS 28:13 · KJV

That is not penance. You do not pay for this with a clean month, because Christ has already paid. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9). The turning can happen today. The road out may be long, and you walk it with help. If your body depends on what you are leaving, your first step of repentance may be a call to a doctor. That is not a delay. That is how you obey and stay alive.

Tell Someone, and Get Help

Addiction grows in the dark. It needs you to keep the secret. So the bravest thing you may do this year is say it to one person.

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”JAMES 5:16 · KJV

James ties healing to telling. Your forgiveness is settled with God alone, but freedom usually comes with someone beside you. Scripture says, woe to him that is alone when he falleth (Ecclesiastes 4:10).

• Your pastor. You are not bothering him. This is what he is for.
• One friend who will ask. A mature believer of your own sex who will ask hard questions.
• A doctor. This matters more than you may think.

A doctor is not a lack of faith. Luke was the beloved physician (Colossians 4:14). Taking medicine is not a sin. It can steady you enough to seek the Lord, though it cannot give you hope. Only Christ does that. Some of you will need a detox center, a treatment program, or a counselor who knows this work. That is wisdom, not failure. Look for help that respects God's Word, and let your pastor stay close. In the United States, the SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357, is free and confidential, open all day, every day, and can point you to treatment near you.

Recovery Programs

Alcoholics Anonymous began in Akron, Ohio, in 1935, and it drew much of its method from the Oxford Group, a Christian movement. Its Twelve Steps begin with admitting that “we were powerless over alcohol,” and they speak of “God as we understood Him.” Other groups, such as SMART Recovery, use cognitive behavioral tools and leave spirituality as a personal choice. A lot of people have been truly helped by these programs, and we are glad. If a meeting is helping you stay sober, we are not asking you to leave it.

We see three limits. A higher power of your own understanding cannot forgive your sin: Neither is there salvation in any other (Acts 4:12). Getting sober is a mercy, but it is not the new birth, and a person can trade one master for another. And in many meetings you name yourself by your addiction for life. We understand why: people who think they are safe tend to fall (1 Corinthians 10:12). But Paul named drunkards in his list (1 Corinthians 6:10), and then he wrote, And such were some of you: but ye are washed (1 Corinthians 6:11). Were. You can stay watchful all your life without wearing this as your name. Your name is child of God. Whatever else you use, do not let it take the place of a church that loves you.

Taking the Way of Escape

“There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”1 CORINTHIANS 10:13 · KJV

This verse does not say you can handle it alone. It rests on God's faithfulness, and the way out is usually an ordinary one. Paul says to make not provision for the flesh (Romans 13:14). Once a doctor has a plan for you, clear the house. Delete the number and the app. Use filtering and accountability software. Let someone you trust see the money. Decide now who you will call in your dangerous hours. Write one verse on a card (Psalm 119:11). And fill the hole the habit leaves: be in church, and serve someone.

You Are Not Your Worst Night

Many people fall again on the road out. Please read this slowly. A relapse is not the end.

For a just man falleth seven times, and riseth up again (Proverbs 24:16). The verse expects falling. What marks this man is that he gets up. John wrote that ye sin not, and in the same breath, if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father (1 John 2:1).

You will hear a voice after you fall. You are a fraud. Stay away from church. You may as well keep going. That voice is not your Father. Scripture calls Satan the accuser of our brethren (Revelation 12:10). Answer him with Paul: Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died (Romans 8:34).

If you are a child of God, this fall did not take you out of His hand (John 10:28). You do not need to be saved again. You need to come home. You can start over today, for his compassions fail not. They are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23).

This does not mean it does not matter. Do not call it a slip, as if it only happened to you. You went back, that was sin, and it costs you and the people who love you. But shame is not repentance. Shame says hide. Repentance says go home. If you are in Christ, you are a new creature who sinned, and you do not have to do it again tonight (2 Corinthians 5:17).

1. Stay safe. After time away, your body loses its tolerance, above all with opioids, and the amount you used to take can now kill you. Do not be alone.
2. Stop here. One night does not have to become a month. If this has been days of heavy drinking, call a doctor first.
3. Call it sin. Tell God in plain words (1 John 1:9), turn from it, and tell your person today.
4. Go to church this Sunday. You belong there.
5. Learn from it. Were you tired, angry, alone? Fix that gap in your plan.

If Someone You Love Is Addicted

If you are the mother, the husband, the child, or the friend, this has been hard on you too. You have lain awake and counted the bottles. You may have told lies you never thought you would tell. We are so sorry. God sees you as well.

• You are not the Saviour. You cannot want this for them hard enough to make it happen. Tell the truth in the spirit of meekness (Galatians 6:1), in a sober moment, and leave the rest with God.
• Stop covering. Love does not lie to the boss or keep paying what the habit costs. In Jesus' story, the father let his son go, the famine taught what no lecture could, and he kept watching the road.
• Protect the vulnerable. If anyone is being hurt, get to safety, and call 911 if the danger is immediate. Separating for safety is not disobedience (see Hurting Homes). If a child is being harmed, report it.
• Be ready. If opioids may be involved, keep naloxone (Narcan) at home, and call 911 even after you use it. In the United States it is sold without a prescription.
• Go with them, and get help yourself. Offer to drive them to the doctor. Tell your pastor. Bear ye one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2).

If addiction has already taken someone you love, we grieve with you. See When You Are Grieving.

One Small Step for Today

You do not have to fix your whole life tonight. You only have to take the next step.

Here it is. Send your pastor or a friend you trust a short message: “I need help. Can we talk?” You do not have to explain it all. Send it before you talk yourself out of it. Then pray, in your own words or in these: “Lord, this is sin, and I have chosen it. Forgive me. I cannot do this alone. Thank You that You died for me as I am. Help me turn, and help me take the next step.”