When You Are Depressed

If Everything Has Gone Gray

Maybe getting out of bed took everything you had today. Maybe you did not get out at all. The things you used to love feel like nothing. You know what you are supposed to believe, and you cannot feel any of it. You may be wondering what is wrong with you, and whether God is tired of you.

He is not. We are so sorry for how heavy this is. Being depressed does not make you a bad Christian, and it does not mean God has left you. It makes you human, and it puts you in the company of some of the best-loved people in the Bible. We will also be honest with you, because you deserve that. Hope is a fight. This page will ask you to keep fighting, and you will not fight alone.

“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”PSALM 34:18 · KJV

Reading may be hard right now. Take one section, or ask someone to read it with you. We are not doctors, and nothing here is a diagnosis or medical advice. We are believers who want to open God's Word with you and stay near.

More than a Bad Week

Everyone gets sad, and God made us able to feel it. Depression is heavier. Often it does not feel like sadness at all. It feels like nothing.

• The color goes out of things. The people, food, and places that used to give you joy do nothing now. Even church can feel like a chore.
• Hope goes dim. You cannot picture it getting better.
• You feel worthless or guilty, often for no reason you can name.
• Your body slows down. You are always tired. You sleep or eat too much or too little.
• You cannot think. Small decisions feel impossible.
• You pull away. You stop answering messages and tell yourself no one would notice.
• Dark thoughts come. You may think others would be better off without you. That thought is a lie. Please tell someone today.

Depression does not always make sense. It can come when life looks fine, and you may ask yourself what you have to be sad about. You are not crazy. Depression does not always follow your circumstances.

Doctors use the word for symptoms that last most of the day, nearly every day, for at least two weeks. Please do not diagnose yourself from a list. But if this sounds familiar, that is a good reason to tell someone and see a doctor.

Those Who Have Been Here Before You

We should not diagnose anyone from thousands of years away. But when you read these people, you will recognize the place.

Elijah Under the Juniper Tree

Elijah had just seen the fire of the LORD fall on Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18:38). Then came one threat from Jezebel, and he ran. He left his servant behind and went on alone into the wilderness. He sat down under a tree and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life (1 Kings 19:4).

Look at what God did next. He did not begin with a rebuke. He let him sleep. An angel touched him, and said unto him, Arise and eat (1 Kings 19:5). Elijah ate, and he lay down again. The angel came a second time: Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee (1 Kings 19:7). God met him in his weakness, and Elijah went on in the strength of that meat (1 Kings 19:8).

Later God asked him, What doest thou here, Elijah? (1 Kings 19:9). He met him in a still small voice (1 Kings 19:12) and asked again (1 Kings 19:13). He let Elijah say what was on his heart: I, even I only, am left (1 Kings 19:14). God was tender with him, and He did not leave him under the tree. He said, Go, return on thy way (1 Kings 19:15). He gave him a next step, a friend in Elisha (1 Kings 19:16), and news he could not see: Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel (1 Kings 19:18).

James says Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are (James 5:17). And God did not answer that prayer under the tree the way Elijah asked. He had more for him than Elijah could see (2 Kings 2:11).

The Psalmist Who Talked to His Own Soul

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”PSALM 42:5 · KJV

This writer remembers going to God's house with the voice of joy and praise (Psalm 42:4). That is gone now. My tears have been my meat day and night (Psalm 42:3). He asks God straight out, Why hast thou forgotten me? (Psalm 42:9).

Then he does something you can do too. Your feelings talk to you all day. He talks back. He tells himself, hope thou in God, and he has to say it three times (Psalm 42:5; Psalm 42:11; Psalm 43:5). It did not fix him the first time. And notice the word yet: I shall yet praise him. Not today, maybe. Yet.

Heman in the Dark

Psalm 88 may be the darkest page in the Bible. Its title names Heman the Ezrahite. Thou hast laid me in the lowest pit, in darkness, in the deeps (Psalm 88:6). Most psalms of lament turn toward hope by the end. This one does not. Its last word is darkness (Psalm 88:18).

Why would God keep that in His Book? We understand it this way: so you would know you may pray from there. Heman feels cast off, and his first words are still O LORD God of my salvation (Psalm 88:1). He keeps talking to God. That is faith. If all you have is a groan, the Spirit maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered (Romans 8:26). See When God Feels Silent.

Paul, Above Strength

The apostle wrote that he and those with him were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life (2 Corinthians 1:8). He does not tell us exactly what the trouble was. He does tell us what it taught him: that we should not trust in ourselves, but in God which raiseth the dead (2 Corinthians 1:9). And he was not ashamed to ask for help: Ye also helping together by prayer for us (2 Corinthians 1:11).

A Preacher Who Knew

Charles Spurgeon, the Baptist preacher of London, was twenty-two when someone raised a false fire alarm at his crowded service on October 19, 1856. Seven people died in the panic. Depression followed him through much of his life. He told his students he knew “by most painful experience what deep depression of spirit means.” He also said, “Causeless depression is not to be reasoned with.” If you cannot reason your way out of this, you are not the first.

What Depression Does Not Mean

Depression tells lies, and it tells them in your own voice. Here is what it does not mean.

• It does not mean you are a bad Christian. It is not a sin to be sad or to be depressed.
• It does not mean God has left you. He has said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee (Hebrews 13:5). You may not feel Him. That is not the same as His being gone. The psalmist told God, the darkness hideth not from thee (Psalm 139:12).
• It does not mean you have lost your salvation. Your salvation rests on Christ's finished work, not on how you feel: neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand (John 10:28). See Eternal Security.
• It does not prove you did not pray enough. Prayer is not a meter that ran out. Paul asked three times for his thorn to be removed, and God said, My grace is sufficient for thee (2 Corinthians 12:9). Prayer still matters, more than ever, and we will come back to that.
• It does not mean this is who you are. It is something you are going through. It is not your name. This is part of the road. It is not where the road ends. So do not unpack here. You may not be able to choose how you feel. With God's help and His people around you, you can take the next small step.

Where It Comes From

Depression has no single cause. God made us physical, emotional, and spiritual beings, and all of it is tied together. Family history and body chemistry, long stress, trauma, sin we have done, and sin done against us can all play a part. So there is no one cure. But there is one source of hope, and His name is Jesus.

Depression may not have a spiritual cause, but it is a deeply spiritual experience. It raises hard questions. Is God still good? Is He still here? Whom will I trust? You may ask them out loud: pour out your heart before him (Psalm 62:8). You do not have to shut your feelings off. Bring them to Him.

That is where the real battle is. Hope deferred maketh the heart sick (Proverbs 13:12). Whatever began your depression, it comes for your hope in God, and that is where you have to fight. Isaiah wrote to the believer that walketh in darkness, and hath no light, and he told him what to do: let him trust in the name of the LORD, and stay upon his God (Isaiah 50:10). You do not have to feel it to do it. Your mood may not move for a while. Your hope can still stand on Him.

Could Sin Be Part of It?

We will be honest and gentle. Yes, it can be, often enough that a faithful pastor will ask about it early. How is your walk with God? Have you been in His Word? Is there a sin you keep going back to, or a bitterness you will not let go of? Those are loving questions. Hiding sin wears a person down: When I kept silence, my bones waxed old (Psalm 32:3). You cannot walk in known rebellion against God and enjoy His peace, and no doctor or medicine can lift that guilt.

So look honestly, perhaps with a pastor you trust: Let us search and try our ways, and turn again to the LORD (Lamentations 3:40). If something comes to mind, tell Him and turn from it. He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy (Proverbs 28:13). He forgives (1 John 1:9). Then keep seeing your doctor and keep following the care you have been given. Repentance and medical care are not rivals.

What we reach for matters too. Alcohol, drugs, pornography, or an affair can feel like relief, and they only dig the pit deeper. If you are there, you are not beyond help (When You Are Addicted).

But please do not let this question become a stick to beat yourself with. Depression can make you feel guilty about everything, and false guilt feels just like the real kind. Sin is not always the reason, and being ill is not a sin. Job's friends were sure his pain proved his sin, and God said they had not spoken of me the thing that is right (Job 42:7). If you have looked, and confessed what you know, you do not need to keep digging.

What Helps, One Small Thing at a Time

No single verse and no single pill will fix this. God cared for Elijah's whole person, so let us care for yours. Usually it takes several small things, over time.

• Look to Jesus first. He is your first option, not your last. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith (Hebrews 12:2). He knows this road, and He is on it with you.
• Tell someone. Depression says, “Tell no one.” Tell your pastor or a friend anyway. Isolation feels like comfort, but it is a trap.
• See a doctor. Ask for a checkup and blood work. Some conditions, such as thyroid disorders, can cause the same symptoms.
• Talk with a Christian counselor who honors God's Word.
• Eat, and sleep. The angel's first words were not a lesson. They were Arise and eat (1 Kings 19:5). Keep a regular bedtime. Take a short walk outside. These are not small things to God.
• Stay with God's people. Be more faithful to church, not less. Go even when you feel nothing. You do not have to pretend.
• Stay in the Word, in small bites. Read one psalm. You will not feel like it. Open it anyway, the way you eat when you are not hungry. Lies are easy to swallow in the dark, so feed on what is true.
• Keep praying. One honest sentence counts. Heman's prayers were dark, and God kept them in His Book.
• Step away from the feed. Scrolling can feel like company. Take a long break from social media and from screens late at night.
• Live this one day. They are new every morning (Lamentations 3:23). Tonight you only need enough for tonight.
• Keep going, even slowly. Hope grows with practice. If you do not see a change yet, you have not failed.

The Word and prayer are not optional for a Christian, and you need them most when you feel them least. They are how you keep hold of what is true when your feelings say otherwise. They are not a test you are failing, and they are not a cure you can measure. More reading will not buy your way out, and prayer does not replace your doctor. But do not let go of them.

Is It Wrong to Take Medicine?

No. We want to say this clearly, because some Christians have been told otherwise. Using a medicine is not a lack of trust in God, and no one should lay that charge on you. Isaiah called for a lump of figs (Isaiah 38:21). Luke was the beloved physician (Colossians 4:14). Medicine is no sin. If it quiets your mind enough to pray, or lifts you enough to get up, open your Bible, and get to church, thank God for it.

Keep each thing in its place. Medicine is a help, not a Saviour. It may ease the misery, but it cannot give hope or lift guilt. Hope is found in Christ. Whether to take it is a decision for you and your doctor, with prayer, and with your spouse if you are married. Your faith is not on trial. It usually takes weeks to work, so talk with your doctor before you start or stop it. Nothing on this page about trust, sin, or prayer is a reason to stop a medicine or skip a doctor's visit. If you feel worse, or have thoughts of harming yourself, call your doctor right away, or call or text 988.

When Well-Meaning Friends Hurt

Most people who say these things love you. They just do not know what to say. If someone has said one of these to you, that was their word, not God's.

• “You just need to pray more.” Prayer matters deeply. Depression is not simply a shortage of it.
• “What do you have to be sad about?” Depression does not always follow circumstances.
• “Count your blessings.” Thanksgiving is good. Handed over as a cure, it says your pain does not count.
• “You are too focused on yourself. Go serve someone.” Serving may bless you later. As a diagnosis, it only adds guilt.
• “If you really trusted God, you would not need that medicine.” That is not what the Bible teaches.
• “God has this. Cheer up.” The first part is true. It is the wrong time to say it that way.

If You Are the Friend

Maybe you are reading this for someone you love. Thank you. To him that is afflicted pity should be shewed from his friend (Job 6:14).

• Sit with them. Job's friends did their best work when none spake a word unto him (Job 2:13). The trouble began when they started explaining.
• Listen, and do not fix. Try: “I cannot feel what you feel, and I am so sorry. May I pray with you right now?”
• Ask plainly. “Have you thought about ending your life?” Asking will not plant the idea. If the answer is yes, stay with them and get help. In the United States, call or text 988 together. Elsewhere, call a local crisis line. In immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency number.
• Check back. Plan when you will do it, then do it. Silence after someone opens up can hurt more than you know.

One Small Step for Today

Do not try to fix your life tonight. You are only asked for one small step.

Here it is. Send one message to your pastor, or to a friend who loves Jesus: “I am not okay. Can we talk?” That is all. You do not have to explain it. If you do not have a pastor, look for a local church that teaches the Bible, and tell the pastor there. God has not asked you to walk this road by yourself. Bear ye one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2).

Your story does not end here. God comforts His people that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble (2 Corinthians 1:4). You may not be able to hear that today. That is all right. We will hold it for you until you can.

If You Do Not Know Him Yet

The deepest need of every heart is Jesus. Christ died for our sins, He was buried, and He rose again the third day (1 Corinthians 15:3–4). If you have never trusted Him, turn to Him and trust Him alone today. For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13).