When You Want to Die

Please Get Help First

You can stop reading right now and make that call. This page will still be here when you come back.

You do not need the right words. You can say, “I do not want to live,” and that is enough. You may hear a short recording and hold music first, so please stay on the line. A trained counselor will answer, ask if you are safe, and listen. Most crises are worked through by talking with the counselor. It is free and confidential, and you can also chat at 988lifeline.org/chat. If you are a veteran or serving in the military, dial 988 and then press 1, or text 838255.

If you have already hurt yourself, call 911 or your local emergency number now.

We Believe You

If you are still reading, we are so glad you are here. We are not going to scold you or hurry you. What you feel is real, and it hurts, and we will not tell you it is small.

Feeling this does not make you a bad Christian or a bad person. Many who feel this way do not truly want to be dead. They want the hurting to ease, and they cannot see how it ever will. You may be very tired. You may have carried this a long way by yourself. You do not have to carry it by yourself any longer.

You Are Not a Burden

Pain lies. It tells you that you are a weight on everyone, and that they would be better off. That can feel completely true, and it is not true. They would not be better off. God wants you here, and so do more people than you can see right now.

God does not call you a burden either. He told His people, Bear ye one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2). Being carried is not failure. It is how He meant us to live.

• You are not worthless. God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). That is what you are worth to God.
• You are not hopeless. What you feel today is not the last word on your life.
• You are not helpless. God is near, there are people who will help, and you can reach one of them right now.

These Feelings Can Pass, and They Can Be Treated

It may feel as if this will never end. That is one of the things despair does. It narrows everything down until you cannot see past today. But the worst hours do pass, even when it seems they will not.

What you are feeling can be treated. Many people who once felt just as you do are alive today and glad they stayed. God made us body and soul, and each affects the other, so a doctor may find something that can be helped. It is not a sin to see a doctor or to take medicine that brings the clarity to fix your focus on Jesus. A counselor can walk with you and help you make a safety plan. See When You Are Depressed.

Think of the dark nights you have already come through. They ended. his compassions fail not. They are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22–23). You do not have to feel hopeful today. You only have to stay.

God Is Near to You

“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.”PSALM 34:18 · KJV

This verse is not for people who have it all together. It is for people who are broken. The word nigh means near, and that means near you.

What God Did for Elijah

Elijah was a faithful prophet. Worn out and afraid, he went into the wilderness alone and asked God to let him die. Look at how God answered. He did not scold him, and He did not give him what he asked. He let him sleep. An angel touched him and said, Arise and eat (1 Kings 19:5). There was food and water at his head. Then the angel came the second time, touched him again, and said, Arise and eat; because the journey is too great for thee (1 Kings 19:7). Elijah arose, and did eat and drink, and went in the strength of that meat (1 Kings 19:8).

God knew Elijah could not go on in his own strength, so He gave him strength for the road. He met Elijah with food, sleep, and His own presence, and later He spoke to him in a still small voice (1 Kings 19:12). Elijah's story did not end under that tree. God had more for him to do, and He gave him a friend, Elisha, who ministered unto him (1 Kings 19:21). His story is not a treatment plan. Sleep and food were where God began with him, and they will not end a crisis like this by themselves. God's care for you also comes through people and through real help, starting today.

What God Let Job Say

Job lost his children, his health, and nearly everything else. He said, Let the day perish wherein I was born (Job 3:3), and I was not in safety, neither had I rest, neither was I quiet (Job 3:26). God kept those words in the Bible. You may tell Him the worst of what you feel. pour out your heart before him (Psalm 62:8). “God, help me” is a whole prayer.

Jesus was a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). He is touched with the feeling of our infirmities (Hebrews 4:15), and A bruised reed shall he not break (Isaiah 42:3). He is with you here, in the room where you are.

You Need Other People Now

Despair wants you alone. Elijah left his servant behind (1 Kings 19:3). It was a day's journey past that, alone, that he asked to die. Being alone may feel safer. It is not.

God often sends His comfort through a person. Paul wrote that God, that comforteth those that are cast down, comforted us by the coming of Titus (2 Corinthians 7:6). On His hardest night, Jesus told His friends, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, and He asked them, tarry ye here, and watch with me (Matthew 26:38). If the Son of God asked His friends to stay close, you may ask yours.

Tell your pastor, a friend, or someone in your family. If you are young, tell a parent, a teacher, or a school counselor. If the first person does not help, tell another, and keep telling until someone acts. A good pastor wants that call at any hour.

Small Steps for Today

You do not have to fix your whole life. You only need to get through this one day, with help. Jesus taught us to pray, Give us this day our daily bread (Matthew 6:11).

1. Tell one person. Call or text someone now, and say it plainly. If you cannot think of anyone, call or text 988.
2. Stay near someone. Do not be alone today. Ask someone to come to you, or go where people are.
3. Call or text 988. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. Outside the United States, call your local emergency number or a local crisis line.
4. Put distance between yourself and danger. Move away from anything that could hurt you, or ask someone to take it and keep it for now. If a place does not feel safe, leave it.
5. Leave alcohol alone today, and anything else you use to numb the pain. Keep taking your medicine as your doctor prescribed.
6. Eat something, drink some water, and sleep if you can. That is not a small thing. It is where God began with Elijah.
7. Make one appointment. Your doctor, a counselor, or your pastor, as soon as you can. Ask someone to go with you.

If You Are Worried About Someone

You do not have to be an expert. You have to be a friend. Take it seriously when someone talks of being a burden, of having no reason to go on, or of giving things away, or when he starts pulling away from people.

1. Ask directly. “Are you thinking about ending your life?” Asking will not plant the idea, and it may be the door he needed someone to open.
2. Listen. Do not argue, lecture, or rush to fix it. Say, “I am so glad you told me.”
3. Stay. Do not leave a person in danger by himself. A promise to tell no one is a promise you cannot make.
4. Get help together. In the United States, call or text 988 with him. It is for friends too. If there is immediate danger, call 911. Bring in his family and his pastor, help him reach a doctor or an emergency room, and help him get some distance from danger.
5. Stay close afterward. Call tomorrow, and set a reminder if you need one. The days after a crisis matter.

Please Stay

This is a chapter, not your whole story. God isn't done with you yet.