Correction Is a Form of Love
No loving parent enjoys correcting a child, and no child enjoys being corrected. Scripture is honest about that.
“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”HEBREWS 12:11 · KJV
That verse describes how God treats His own children. He is not cruel with us, and He is not soft with us either. He is after something in us that comfort has never produced. A parent's discipline is a small picture of that work. Done well, it helps a child understand God. Done in anger or with a harsh spirit, it is sinful, and it works against the very heart we are trying to reach.
A parent's loving correction of a child's disobedience, aimed at his heart, to teach him to repent, to obey, and to know God.
Training and Correcting
Paul names both halves of this work in one line: the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). Nurture translates paideia, the whole work of training a child. It is the same word Hebrews uses for God's chastening (Hebrews 12:5). Admonition translates nouthesia, putting truth into someone's mind by instruction and warning.
Training is proactive. It builds skills and habits through teaching and repetition. Discipline is corrective. It responds when a known rule has been broken. A parent who skips the first will spend his days doing the second. A simple pattern helps: tell him what you expect, show him how, let him practice, praise him when he does it, correct him calmly when he does not, and reconnect with love.
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For Deeper Study
- Don't Make Me Count to ThreeAmazon Ginger Plowman HubbardA mother's practical guide to using Scripture to reach a child's heart.
- Shepherding a Child's HeartAmazon Tedd TrippA careful treatment of correction, communication, and the rod. Reformed.
- Give Them GraceAmazon Elyse M. Fitzpatrick and Jessica ThompsonHow the Gospel shapes the way we correct. Reformed, and we would say more than it does about the place of firm correction.
- Corporal Punishment in the BibleAmazon William J. WebbWe differ. The strongest case for setting aside physical correction, listed so that the argument can be heard from its own teacher.
- Foxe's Book of MartyrsAmazon John FoxeThe classic Protestant record of those who died for the faith, from the early church to the English Reformation.
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Parenting on Purpose
Parenting on purpose means receiving children as a stewardship from God and shepherding their hearts toward Jesus, changing how you lead as they grow, and trusting the Lord with the outcome.
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